


You might lie and i might cry ( I'll wipe my eyes, nevermind)

by Beerandchocolate



Series: I can see you smile from a mile away (Maybe we can make it, Won't you stay?) [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cigarettes, F/M, I'm sorry for doing this oooof, It's going to be a series, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Smoking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beerandchocolate/pseuds/Beerandchocolate
Summary: Jeonghan has acquired a particular hatred for Friday nights. Also, he's in love with his roommate.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Im Nayeon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: I can see you smile from a mile away (Maybe we can make it, Won't you stay?) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892071
Kudos: 9





	You might lie and i might cry ( I'll wipe my eyes, nevermind)

It comes back in flashes during the most unfortunate times, and then Jeonghan tries to turn over, squeeze his eyes shut and force himself into sleep. But it isn't possible. These are the worst nights of the week after all, Friday nights.

  
He groans into his pillow fumbling for his phone on the side cursing when he hears it fall off the bed instead. The loud clatter echoes in the room followed by a car horn from outside and light flashes inside from the windows as it passes. The room is a normal dormitory room for two people,white walls and tiled floors, two top bunk beds with their lower part being a study space with shelves and a small cupboard to place clothes in. Jeonghan had ended up further buying a small clothes rack that had a cloth cover and it sat at one corner of his side of the room, he preferred to hang his clothes than fold them, more convenient, he's also kinda lazy to have to iron them repeatedly.  
He moves to his back staring at the ceiling, thinking if getting up to grab his phone was worth it and after contemplating a minute he decides he should, sleep was going to evade him anyways. His mind liked to torture him like that. It's the end of the school week and he should be getting restful sleep after a particularly hectic day of classes but instead, he's here, up, thinking and thinking and thinking.  
He'd rather he not though but we really can't all get what we want can we?  
Maybe he shouldn't have rejected Mingyu's offer to go out for food and drinks. He's not sure what compelled him to say no, like, he didn't really have anything much to do anyways.  
He slowly climbed down the ladder and dropped to the floor, moving in the darkness towards the light switch. Their room was always clean enough so he didn't have to worry about tripping over something, they also didn't own a lot, being University students, most money just went on food and snacks and drinking.   
He turned on the lights, the synthetic fluroscent making his eyes flutter painfully as they got used to the brightness. Their room came to view, covered by posters of Monet's paintings, quotes and one My friend Totoro poster and his gaze shakily made way to the other side of the room towards his roommates part, The cleanly set books, stationary and trinkets, the black office chair he bought because he couldn't study sprawled on the bed like Jeonghan and the lack of Seungcheol in the room with his bed still untouched after folding it before heading off to morning class.  
Jeonghan had no idea if Seungcheol even had lunch, he had barely seen him after the classes they shared and he wondered how Seungcheol could just not be tired enough to come back since he had an extra class than Jeonghan on Fridays. Jeonghan wanted to believe Fridays were hard on everyone and not just him but well, being physically tired and emotionally hurt, they're too different and they hurt differently too.

  
Jeonghan let out a sigh before bending to pick up his phone, inspecting it for any cracks and felt a bit pleased to see no new ones.Suddenly the screen of his phone lit and Jeonghan felt his eyes widen at the notification before they narrowed and he shoved the phone, displeased now, in his pajama pocket before hastily moving to open his left drawer and reaching out his arm inside to the very back of it. He felt his fingers close around the pack of cigarettes he kept for bad times, and he reasoned to himself , who had been working on lessening the smoking that right now was a bad time and he needed it.  
Never mind actually, who does he have to convince himself, he scoffed.  
He's annoyed, he needs one, he needs to go.

Seungcheol never liked the smell of smoke anyways so he would never smoke in the room.

  
Grabbing his room key and pulling on an oversized cardigan he left the room to head to the building rooftop which was only a floor up but undoubtedly his favourite place in the whole of the city to be at. The building rooftop was well, old and crumbling so no one really went up a lot except a few people including him and especially never at night with the rumours about it being haunted. He scoffed again, well if it was haunted, the ghost and he should have been best friends by now and he would finally have someone to talk to about....  
Well,  
Friday nights.

Jeonghan reached to button the cardigan as the cold night air threatened to seep inside his bones before letting himself out into the dark. The city lights twinkled innocently in the distance in place of the stars that should've been doing that but it was a cloudy night and Jeonghan could hear the soft lull of the water of the river just at the back of their dormitory building.  
The water looked dark and endless much like his yearning, He mused rather sardonically and he pulled a cigarette to his lips from the pack and lit it with his lighter while watching over the sleeping city to his front with the university buildings all behind him.

  
The metaphorical ash in his mouth was replaced by the taste of the cigarette as he breathed in once deeply and let the first cloud bellow to the sky. He felt something else escape with it, making the apprehension and the pain settle down a bit.  
He pulled out his phone and unlocked it.

'Will not be coming back today, lunch tomorrow? Did you eat something?- Seungcheol.'

He snorted.   
What a fucking riot. Look at Seungcheol act like he cares. He thought taking a long drag as he stared at the screen and the words without breaking away. The wind was picking up and getting colder but he was sure it was nothing compared to the cold feeling percolating inside his chest, around his heart. And it felt particularly unbearable tonight.  
He can count the times they had a meal together since this start of the new semester on one hand, three to exact, I mean his roommate has a girlfriend now and apparently she was much better company to be with than him...

He let out a dejected smoky breath feeling a bit guilty. Don't get him wrong, Nayeon was lovely and kind and she made Seungcheol happy but,  
Jeonghan with his back against the wall slipped down slowly to collect himself in his arms, It's no one's fault he fell in love with his roommate and yet....  
He has no one to blame but himself.

  
Every Friday night, even through the imposed university curfew of after 10pm, Jeonghan was always alone in his room, longing for things he could never own and wanting to be in her place instead. He wondered right now if she was in his arms and he was looking at her sweetly, softly with those sparkling brown eyes of his or if he was right now mouth to mouth, chest to chest- his long dark eyelashes fanning across his cheeks as he pulls her closer.  
The image is such a contrast to how Jeonghan remembers having him, laughing, pouting, excited, He was proud to be the one closest to Seungcheol before and now, he thinks bitterly, Nayeon one upped him by owning that part of Seungcheol he can only fantasize about. There's a new person, someone else who is Seungcheol's number one and he can hardly take it.  
His mind pathetically reverts back to the semester before when Seungcheol was still single and they would hang out every minute of the day together, practically inseparable and now, he was all alone. All alone. Completely left behind.

The cigarette had burnt to its filter by now and Jeonghan tsked in annoyance not having used it a lot, smushing it with his room slippers on the floor (If he gets burnt through the plastic that is also is fault and only his) before pulling out and lighting another one.  
His phone lay in his hand, the message still in view, mocking, pitying him.  
He prepared his fingers to type-

'Already ate, did you? Sorry i got plans tomorrow maybe later?'

-And then he turned off the data instead opting to play a song as he stared into the nothingness of the night sky and took another puff.

_~You might lie and I might cry_   
_I'll wipe my eyes, nevermind_

_Wasted away with you~_

He will never let Seungcheol know, instead he'll just bury it deep inside like an unspeakable crime and hope the pains dulls away with time.  
Maybe, Maybe one day he can hope to be okay.

Till then, he'll try to avoid the source of his pain, try to create a distance. No, it wasn't to hurt Seungcheol, it was only so Jeonghan doesn't ever forget his place and that he had been replaced.  
And Seungcheol didn't even know what he did to him.

**Author's Note:**

> So why am i hurting myself like this? Ahahaha. This is going to be part of a series and while i have a rough outline prepared i have yet to decide whether to make it a happy ending or a sad ending. We will see. Thank you for reading! Let me know in the comments what you think~


End file.
